Who awaited him? Nobody even wants to see his face. We pray our entire lives only to meet him in our sleep. We constantly look for reasons to avoid thinking of him. If ever, there happens to be a chance when we’re nearing him, we’re on an instant look out for our loved ones. We begin to think about things we’ve done, things we wanted to do, and things we never wanted. This moment was one of those. It’s staring at us, but none can see it.
It’s me. He’s with me, looking at me. The moment I see that look into his eyes I know what he wants. And I now know why I am here. Acceptance would do no good. It only makes me weaker when I stand in front of him, making me look helpless, or rather making him more powerful. Why me, I ask myself. The wickedness he cannot hide is resonant in the fact that he’s here, wanting what does not belong to him. Wanting what never could want to be his. Why me, now I know.
My mistake stares at me as he gives me a chance to talk to the one I love, one last time, to see me hurt, and to see my love hurt even more.
I like you so much. So much that I never wanted to leave you. I find myself in you, I lose myself in you. There is nothing else in this world I want more than I want you. There is nothing else in this world I can lose more when I lose you. But it’s time. It’s time when time stands still, because he is here.
Nothing changed. I can’t find him here. Lost in a familiar place, I weep. I weep with joy. As I fight back my thoughts, some of the real glowed. The end does not arrive, until the beginners chase it. It’s not my fear that lost; it’s my heart that won.
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