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Dummy's guide to crack a nut

Thinking.. Thinking.. Thunk! How and when did i discover *that*, i have no clue. I am sure it was one of those nuts that i am going to talk about. But honestly, as you read the title, i am sure you thought of a few crazy crack people who made your life so difficult at some point of time, that you could spend a million bucks to buy a book on *1001 ways to crack a nut*
I met quite a few, the hardest one being the oldest. Yea its my best friend.(to kill me... ok just don't. Please!) He drives me crazy with his wrong apparently comic timing. Things i hate about everyone else, form his innate habits. Super Hyperactive with no patience to let the other person talk most of the times. Listening to other people happens to him only when he breathes (which is so rare i am scared he would choke up to his food.. i guess he has mastered the art of breathe-as-you-talk asana)
I think he secretly times his body clock to race with a passing train, if cook a dish in 5 minutes is what a recepie says, he would try doing it in 2 minutes, ruining the presentation (if not the taste). Brilliant at thinking of alternatives. After the moment has passed. But then, as i write this, flashes of *real* bimbos* pass me. The leader of The Retardeds, Mr. X (identity changed on request). Conversing with people was never so confusing. I can barely guess if he knows i am talking to him, understanding me is out of question for the first 10 minutes. There were times i uttered something, he sat right there staring at me with this slow processor blank expression, and i would take a U-turn just as i came, leaving the conversation with 4 words. This works! (O My God he is begining to affect me)

Then came this guy, who after billions of requests, threats and pleads, would still put my mail in the wrong box. I decided to switch the mail boxes, with a few believing a ghost did that! Works like the swing at Disneyland!

Girls, your display of intellectual switch button is not always good. I travel to work by train for like an hour, with trains being over-stuffed with people all the time! (we really need to stop producing babies at that! Read: ALL) This girl, no actually many girls, get in the crowded compartment, and stand diagonally when rest of us are standing in 2 lines, occupying space of 4 people. (I do not expect ANYONE to imagine this so i leave this case right here)

Thus, by the end of me sighing over such bufoons, i have a hearty laugh, wish them to continue being a part of my life to keep me entertained, and look out for another nut to crack!

:P
P.S: My best friend is the most *entertaining* lovable person in my life.

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